I"M GOING INSANE!!! I AM SO UNHAPPY!! HELP?

IM GOING CRAZY.. WITH THE LIFE I PICKED.. I HAD A NORMAL HAPPY TEENAGE LIFE..WD LOTS OF FRIENDS. UNTIL I TURN 17 I THOUGHT I FELL IN LOVE BUT NOW THATS IM 20 I REALIZE. HE WAS NOT MY TYPE I HATE SEEING HIM AT TIMES.. I ASK MYSELF WHY AM I WITH HIM IF HE MAKES MY LIFE BE ON HOLD?? WE HAD A SON TOGETHER AT MY AGE 18, I FEEL WE JUST RUSHED THINGS IN MOVING IN TOGETHER WITH HIS MOM N DAD..NOW HE HAS ME N MY SON UP N DOWN LIVING IN DIFFERENT PLACES.. I HAVE NEVER BEEN STABLED THROUGHT MY YOUNG LIFE... MY DAD N MOM SEPARATED..ME N MY 3 OTHER BROTHERS N SISTER MOVE ALOT.. IT WAS TRAUMATIZING WE NEVER HAD OUR DAD THEIR. SO I WAS THINKIN WELL WHEN I GET MARRIED THINGS WILL CHANGE.. BUT I GOT WORST THAN WHEN I WAS SINGLE.. I STILL BEEN UP N DOWN NEVER EVER HAD A PERMANENT PLACE TO STAY. I FEEL SO MAD AT MYSELF FOR LETTING THIS GOTTEN THIS FAR.. I MARRIED A ILLEGAL ALIEN.. HIS JOB IN CONSTRUCCION IS NEVER STABLE .. SO WE NEVER KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT WITH MONEY.. IM GLAD I GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL.. BUT I HAVENT GOTTEN TO GO TO COLLEGE... HE KEEPS TELLIN ME GO.. I WISH HE WOULD KEEP HIS WORD...CUZ HE WONT BABYSIT.. OR HELP ME OUT WE HAVE NO MONEY FOR SCHOOL I HAVE TO APPLY FOR SOME GRANTS I CANNOT.. I NEED A JOB TO PAY IT ALL BACK. THE THING IS THAT.. I HAVE NO FRIENDS NOT ONE.. I LOST THEM ALL. I WENT TO APPLY FOR HELP IT EMBARRASSING I TELL THEM HIS ILLEGAL N THE CASEWORKERS DENIE ME EVERYTHING. IF I WAS A SINGLE MOM THINGS WOULD BE BETTER N DIFFERENT.. I WILL GET MORE SUPPORT N HELP. I AM SO STRESSED.. MY MOM N DAD NEVER GAVE US ANYTHING I DO NOT WANT TO END UP LIKE THEY DID. NOW I LIVE WITH MY MOM IT SUCKS IT REALLY DOES ITS A SHAME MY BF CANT GET HIS FAMILY A PLACE.. BUT MY MOM DEPENDS ON ME TO GET EVERYTHING DONE FOR HER... OK SHE DOESNT DRIVE.. OR SPEAKS ENGLISH.. SORRY BUT SHES BEEN A BIG HOE.. GOT PREGNANT N HAS A 1 YEAR OLD. N A 10 YEAR OLD N 16 YEAR OLD.. HERE LIVING WITH US TOO. SO I CANNOT WORRY ABOUT MY SON I FORGET.. FOR DEALING WITH MY MOMS STUFF.. I HATE IT SO MUCH HOW SHE HAS ME TIED DOWN TO HER SHE MAKES PEOPLE FEEL SORRY FOR HER ALOT. I HAVE TO TAKE THE BABY TO THE APPOINTMENTS JUST CUZ I DRIVE N SPEAK ENGLISH.. I MAKE EVERYBODIED APPOINTMENTS.. I, I ,I ,I DO EVERYTHING.. OH MY GOD.. FOR ALL 7 PEOPLE... I FEEL LIKE I WILL NEVER GO TO SCHOOL N MAKE MY LIFE BE BETTER... STILL THERE ARE 5 APPOINTMENTS COMMIN UP FOR MY MOM SHE HAS BIPOLAR DISORDER, DEPRESSION. I DONT KNOW IM GOING CRAZY DEALING WITH SO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY MY MOM NEVER HELPS ME ON ANY WAY.. SHE WANTS WANTS BUT NEVER GIVES.. SHE HAS NEVER NEVER.. HELPED ME WATCH MY SON, HONESTLY HAS NEVER GAVEN MY SON A KISS OR NOTHING NICE SAYING....LIKE HOH HOW CUTE NOTHING.. I FEEL AS IF SHE IS NOT MY MOM. SHE JUST ACTS LIKE SHE CANT DO ANYTHING... I HAVE 2 SISTER DONT HAVE KIDS YET.. BOTH HAVE A JOB N GO TO COLLEGE.. IM THE ONE THAT GOT SCREWED.. I HONESTLY WANT TO END MY LIFE... I HELP SO MUCH I KNOW GOD IS WATCHING BUT ITS TO MUCH HELP I GIVE WAY TO MUCH.. I DONT GET NOTHING IN RETURN.. NOT A THANK U NO GAS MONEY I PUT IT ALL.. MY MOTHER IS SO SELFFISH.. AND MY HUSBAND ALLOWS ALL THIS... I TELL HIM HOW I FEEL HE SEES ME SO OVERWHELM... HE JUST IGNORES IT... SO I WANT TO END IT ALL.... I WANT TO LEAVE HIM... I SEE HIM N I DONT FEEL NOTHING FOR HIM.. ANYMORE .. I HATE HIM FOR NEVER TAKING GOOD CARE OF ME N HIS SON.... I DISLIKE MY MOM... SHE HAS NEVER HELPED ME.. JUST USES ME. PLEASE HELP.. TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO????? SOMETIMES I THINK OF COMMITING SUICIDE..BUT I THINK ABOUT MY SON... I JUST WANT TO LEAVE AWAY FROM THEM AND START MY OWN LIFE... EVEN THOUGH ILL STRAT WITH NOTHING...=....(